How to Ask for Flexibility or Remote Work After Maternity Leave
How to Ask for Flexibility or Remote Work After Maternity Leave
Because going back to work shouldn't mean giving up your sanity
You Can Ask and You Deserve to Ask
If you're heading back to work after having a baby, chances are your world looks a whole lot different than it did before. Diaper blowouts now happen at the same time as conference calls. Sleep is a rare treasure. And somehow, everything feels both slower and faster at the same time.
So it's no surprise that the idea of returning to a traditional 9-to-5 in-person setup might not feel realistic anymore. That's where the conversation around flexibility and remote work comes in, and you are absolutely allowed to ask for it.
Whether you're craving more time at home, need a hybrid option, or just want to adjust your hours to align better with daycare pickup. This guide will help you ask for what you need with confidence and clarity.
1. Get Clear on What You're Asking For
Before you open the conversation, take a moment to reflect. What kind of flexibility are you hoping for?
Full-time remote work?
A hybrid schedule (e.g., 2–3 days in the office)?
Adjusted hours (e.g., 7–3 instead of 9–5)?
A gradual return (e.g., starting part-time, then ramping up)?
Flexible PTO or sick time policies for when your child is sick?
The more specific you are about what would actually help you thrive, the easier it will be to advocate for it.
💡 Pro Tip: Write down your ideal schedule and a couple of backup options. Being flexible yourself shows you're collaborative, not demanding.
2. Time It Right (But Don't Wait Too Long)
The best time to bring this up is before your official return, ideally a couple of weeks beforehand, so there's time to have a conversation and put a plan in place. If your return date is coming up fast, don't panic. It's still okay to bring it up when you're back, just be honest and proactive.
Start the email or conversation with something like:
"As I prepare for my return, I've been thinking about how to best reintegrate into work in a way that supports both my performance and my family's needs…"
3. Lead with Value, Not Apology
This is a big one. You are not asking for special treatment. You're proposing a solution that supports your productivity and retention, which is a huge win for your employer.
Try language like:
"I've found that I'm able to be even more focused and productive when I have some flexibility built into my schedule. Here's what I'm thinking…"
"Given my role and responsibilities, I believe a hybrid/remote arrangement would allow me to fully show up for my work without compromising my availability."
4. Anticipate Concerns & Offer Solutions
Yes, your manager might have concerns, especially if remote work isn't the norm in your company. Be ready to address those concerns with confidence and calm.
Common concerns:
"Will communication suffer?"
"Will you be as productive?"
"Will it set a precedent?"
Your response:
"Here's how I'll ensure we stay connected…"
"I've set up systems that help me stay organized and meet deadlines from home…"
"I'm happy to reassess after 30/60/90 days to make sure it's working for everyone."
5. Practice What You'll Say (So You Don't Freeze)
If you're nervous, that's normal. But a little practice can go a long way. Try this:
"I wanted to talk about my return to work and what I think could help me transition in a way that supports both my performance and well-being. I'm wondering if a hybrid/remote/flexible schedule is something we could explore together?"
Role-play it with a partner, record yourself, or even run through it while you're folding baby laundry. Whatever helps you feel more grounded.
6. Know That You're Not Alone
Flexible work is no longer a rare request, especially since 2020. More and more companies are recognizing that flexibility isn't a perk, it's a pathway to sustainability, especially for working parents.
So even if you feel nervous or like you're asking "too much," remember this: many moms are asking for the same things. And many employers are listening.
7. If They Say No, Don't Panic
Not every employer will say yes right away. But a "no" doesn't mean the door is closed forever. Ask if you can revisit the conversation in 30 to 60 days. Show up, deliver, and keep the dialogue open.
You might say:
"I understand, and I'd still love to revisit this after I've had time to reintegrate and demonstrate that I can manage my responsibilities well. Would it be okay to check back in next quarter?"
8. Don't Feel Guilty for Wanting More
You're not selfish for wanting to be present for your baby and successful at work. You're not difficult for asking to work differently. You're a mom trying to build a life that works for her family — and that takes guts.
🙌 "You don't owe the world burnout to prove you're a good employee or a good mom."
You're allowed to want ease. You're allowed to ask for help. You're allowed to design a work life that supports your whole life not just one role.
You Can Do This
Requesting flexibility after maternity leave might feel intimidating, but it's also one of the most empowering things you can do for your mental health, your family, and your future.
Be clear. Be confident. Be kind. You're not asking for permission to care — you're inviting your employer to be part of a new chapter. One where you show up fully because your needs are respected.
And if they don't get it? You deserve to find a place that does.
